..the man i love most..

With the exception of my father, the man I love most is Kasey Barrington :)

How many young people can say that right?? No I'm not lucky, I'm blessed. They say when you go looking for love, chances are you'll never find it; let it come to you. That! Is exactly what happened to me. I really wanted to wait and write a rough draft about this blog before I started because there's so many things to say!! Enjoy :)

I fell in love with the man of my dreams on March 13, 2009. It was also his very first show and our's together! So this day was very, very special to both of us! We've both been through messed up relationships prior to our's and let me tell you, our love is strong! Real strong! I can't even explain the way I feel about this man, he is perfect in every way! Although we do have our flaws, in the end, every second is so worth it!

He has become my other half and really is! I mean, when we're away from each other, apart of us doesn't feel the same. He has gone through hell to be with me! Literally!! When I became pregnant, this is what brought us so close. His grandparents kicked him out and wanted nothing to do with him, I was so heartbroken. Not only because of what he was going through but knowing I was the reason it was all happening to him. It killed me inside, he put up a front like it was nothing, but I could see it in his eyes he was hurting bad! With that being said, he stayed with me on the weekends and at T's during the weekdays. At night before we went to bed, we would talk about anything and everything. When we first hooked up, I remember him telling me about his childhood! I thought to myself, what a nightmare!! I felt for him and wanted to give him the happiness he never had, and I did :) 

This man is so strong, I thank his past for that. I know I can depend on him for anything and everything. His heart is pure and his love is unconditional. He's always there when I need him, he reassures me everything will be ok! We're apart right now due to moving conditions and it is so hard being away from the person you love the most! Ai yai yai curumbbaaaa!! 

We've been through so much shiz, like every other couple has, and the road has not been easy but so worth it! It was obvious that we both lost sight of all the good times we've shared and focused on the bad that's happened in the past. Fools, I know! Crazy to say, although we're apart and have been for awhile, it has made us realize how much we really mean to one another. I know when we're together again, it'll be the best thing that ever happened to us, with the exception of our beautiful daughter.

I love this man with everything I have, he completes me, and will always have my heart! I thank God for my beautiful surprise!! He makes my life worth living for! LOVE LOVE LOVE HIM TO PIECES :)

xoxo

..valentines 2thousand10..

Yes! Finally, my first Valentine's with the love of my life! I know its 2011 but I thought I should blog about last year's Valentine's Day! It was the best, nothing will ever top it!

I was so nervous for Valentine's, Kasey and I agreed that he would plan our first Vday together. I was so anxious and excited to know but he would not tell me anything! Ugh the days went by so damn slow and every second dragged! That weekend my whole family planned to go to Vegas for the 7's Rugby tournament, since then it's now a family tradition! So with that being said, I was looking for every excuse not to go, messed up I know! But seriously, who wants to be in Vegas and away from the person they love the most on Valentines?? So my excuse was, "oh my boss denied my request for that weekend" ahahaha! Slick I know. Well the real reason was that both Kasey and I knew that I was pregnant and we wanted this Valentine's to be special, so I was the only who stayed home! It was so nice having the house to myself and doing anything and everything! 

Let's get to our date now shall we? :)

So, we both got ready and he blind folds me as I get into the car. As he's driving, he plays a cd with all our songs we listened to on our first date; which were: Beautiful and Special, All Night Long, Downtime, *Valentine's-Ryan Leslie*, You Can Get it All, Stilettos, and more. I'm already getting teary eyes at this point! The car comes to a stop, I get out of the car and we're at the studio; where we first met. Along with this came a letter he wrote for me, it simply explained the significance of this spot. **Where we met and fell in love** aaawwww right??

We get in the car, the blind fold comes on again and on to the next stop we go. We come out the car and I open my eyes and we're standing outside the hospital where we've planned to give birth at. My tears would not stop pouring, he held me tight and close and made me read the second letter.. It explained that this is where both our lives will change forever and our baby is **a symbol of our love** and NOT A MISTAKE. My make up is completely gone and we're not even halfway through our date!

It's back in the car we go, at this point my head was hurting and I was starting to feel a bit nauceous from the blind fold. So my pregnant self just slept until we got to our third destination, which was the temple! Alright, this was a shocker, the reason being is that Kasey is not really all that strong in the church and the temple is the last place on earth I would have thought of! There was no letter for this stop, instead he held my hands and looked me straight in the eyes and said, although we're not worthy to enter the temple, I'll try my best to do so, because it's what you've wanted since you were a little girl! Oh my gosh can you say **PERFECT**?? He literally knocked me off my feet when he said those words to me!!

The last place we come to is the cemetery, we stayed in the car for this one. It's pretty obvious that we'll be together til we die :) this is the significance.  He shared something with me from a seminary lesson (oh snap, look at my missionary! lol) what is the most important part on the headstone?? I clearly didn't know lol he said its not the year you were born or the year you died, it's the dash between the two numbers. Why? Because that's everything you lived for. That was so deep, this is when I knew *this man would be mine forever!* I'm so blessed!!

Finally, we had dinner at chili's! It was such a long date I was super exhausted from being in the car most of the time, am I complaining?? Hell no! This date is the best ever! No other date of ours will ever top it!

It doesn't end there though! We come home and he massages me and we talk and cuddle and I totally knocked out! About two hours later he wakes me up.. I'm so ugly right now and my eyes are completely red, I get up and on my dresser is a teddy bear that says, "be mine", hot cheeto puff and coke (my pregnancy cravings), and 2 heart shaped boxes of chocolate.. Wondering why there's 2? Well, one is mine and the other is our unborn daughter! I look at him and I cry, I never knew a man could be so thoughtful and caring! I was so amazed at how our date turned out!! 

This man has gone through hell to be with me, he is my angel in disguise and one of my greatest blessings! I will love him forever!!

<3 Kasey Claye Barrington <3

..annoyed much..

Don't you find it annoying when you have a conversation with someone but they're are ALWAYS negative or always looks at the downside of things? How irritating is that! Like ok, I can't even enjoy talking to you because you're such a negative person, and you wonder why everything in your life sucks!

So irritating when you start your own jokes and then everyone who you joke around with thinks they can do it too! Like inside jokes? Lol I swear my sister and I have so many, and our friends/family think they can play along! Lol eh! No, that's why they're called "inside" you idiots.!

Ugh ok it's one thing to talk crap, but if you're ugly AND you talk crap, you should really think about killing yourself!

People who talk crap online! Oh dear, it doesn't get any dumber than that!

Ok, maybe it's that time of the month for me but I really had to get this out!! Lol don't get me wrong, I love everyone and anyone. Hate is a strong word, I prefer "strongly dislike". Nothing personal, I'm just venting.. ugh ok someone get me my *waffles w/ caramel&whipped cream*!

xoxo

..couples retreat..

What a life!! Ugh, so with everything being said in my previous blog, I decided to fly out to california to spend some quality time with my love. It was so nice, it really made me think twice if moving out there was really the right thing to do for both my daughter and I.  As of right now, we've planned to go on a break, spend some time away from each other and hope everything will fall into place.

Being out there was really what I needed. Just to get away from home and everything else, I was like so stressed I really needed to get away and have some "me" slash "us" time lol.  My trip was fun, we really did NOTHING at all.  It was the funnest thing ever, ironic right? We would wake up every afternoon around 11 or so and just talk and lounge around! He made me breakfast EVERY morning I was there, he wouldn't let me touch or clean anything, he tucked me in every night, AND, get this, he even watched my fave tv shows with me, like jerseylicious, jersey shore, real housewives of atl&beverly hills! It was so cute and romantic, I could cry! He catered to me in every way possible.! I consider myself very lucky to have such a strong and willing man! I realized how much I took him for granted, well both of us vice versa. 

We went on walks and talked about so much! So my time out there was worth it! Everything is coming back together, so you're probably wondering why we've decided to go on a break right? Lol well let's just say it's all for the best and we will end up back together stronger than ever! All I can say is that we've both worked so hard at making us work, holy hell it's been hectic! Overwhelming and under so much pressure it's not even funny! But I wouldn't have it any other way or do it with anyone else. I love him so much it hurts! 

Our friends and families would never understand what we have, let's just say we're very much alike which can be bad and good at times! 

It's a love hate relationship:)